Make it stop

We went to a Dodgers game today and it was fun. We went with a bunch of people at work. I don’t think I will tailgate again though. We were there all day in the 100 plus degree heat.

It was a 3 hour drive to get there and it was a night game. I was having so much fun but I know Charlotte was over it. She isn’t really into baseball and the heat wore us out. I wanted to stay until the end but Charlotte insisted we leave. We left at 10:00 o’clock and got home at 1:00am. I had to be up by 4:30 to be at work by 6:00am.

I can’t sleep again. I haven’t had more than three hours of sleep a night since Luke died. I’m still fighting depression.

I sent Robbie another email. I know I need to get my shit together. I don’t drink nearly as much as I was. I slept but I would feel like shit for three days.

I tried to tell my mom that I was sad and depressed and she just told me to get the fuck over it. Who says shit like that? I think she is sick of hearing how sad I am.

I cry all the time. My soul aches and I don’t know how to make it stop. I’m not happy anymore. I’m always in pain, emotionally. I don’t know how to make it stop.


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