May 2, 2018

Finally home from work. It’s been a long week. I’ve been having anxiety attacks again. They started this week.

They start when I leave the house. I get light headed. Then the dizziness starts and my heart starts pounding. My vision gets weird, I have tunnel vision. I have to control my breathing.

They stop when I’m at work. I’ve been there so long its like being at home. I don’t love my job but I’m comfortable.

I leave work to go home and they start up again. Light headed, dizzy, tunnel vision, breath.

I’m home. Safe. I’m sitting on my treadmill, in front of the heater, eating a pint of butter pecan and watching my Mets lose to the Braves.

I’m trying to avoid another depression. This weather doesn’t help. It snowed again today. I’m happy when it’s sunny and warm.

Iā€™m 38 pounds away from my goal weight. Eating ice cream and Reeses isn’t helping.

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