Anxiety

Uncategorized 1 Minute

Finally home from work. It’s been a long week. I’ve been having anxiety attacks again. They started this week.

They start when I leave the house. I get light headed. Then the dizziness starts and my heart starts pounding. My vision gets weird, I have tunnel vision. I have to control my breathing.

They stop when I’m at work. I’ve been there so long its like being at home. I don’t love my job but I’m comfortable.

I leave work to go home and they start up again. Light headed, dizzy, tunnel vision, breath.

I’m home. Safe. I’m sitting on my treadmill, in front of the heater, eating a pint of butter pecan and watching my Mets lose to the Braves.

I’m trying to avoid another depression. This weather doesn’t help. It snowed again today. I’m happy when it’s sunny and warm.

Iā€™m 38 pounds away from my goal weight. Eating ice cream and Reeses isn’t helping.

Published by adventuresofalabamacolburn

My name is Alabama Colburn. I am a 47 year old widow. I was married to my high school sweetheart and he passed away last year. I have three grown sons and two grandkids. In the last 12 months I have lost my husband, fallen apart, fallen in love, redid my house, gotten over my fear of flying (kinda) ruined my credit,had a mental breakdown, gotten my heart broken and finally landed back on my feet. For the first time in my adult life I am on my own. This is a blog about how I managed my first year of widowhood and how Iā€™m learning to enjoy it.

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