May 18, 2018

This week has really been hard. I feel like I’m heading into another depression and I’m trying so hard to avoid that. I feel dark inside. Achy. I don’t know how else to describe it.

I laugh when people say something funny. I force myself to contribute to the life going on around me. I’m trying not to breakdown.

I rarely go on Facebook. I had to go on today to check my softball schedule and it pops up with my friend anniversary with Robbie. It upsets me to see this. Then in a meeting I find out there is no more weekend overtime. I’m trying not to panic. I need my overtime to pay my bills. I might have to get a weekend job.

I want to go somewhere and start over. By myself. I want to rent out my house, move to a city where I don’t know any one and start over. No life baggage.

Just me, a single woman living by herself in a new city. This is my plan.

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