Today Rae and Maggie and I went and got mani/pedi’s. I needed it after the day I’ve had.

Drew is an alcoholic. I’ve been in denial and praying he would grow out of it. But you don’t outgrow addiction.

I sent him to Montana with Beau to straighten out and get away from his friends. He will do well for a few weeks and then he goes on a binge. Every time something goes bad he drinks. He is just like Luke.

I found out when Drew was 17 that Luke had been drinking with him since he was 14. I kicked Luke out but the damage was done. I don’t know if Drew would have been an alcoholic or not but I blame Luke. There is a part of me that will always hate Luke for doing this. Then I feel so much guilt for not knowing.

Drew went to work drunk today. For the second time. I imagine if he’s been caught twice he’s done it numerous times. He is such a hard worker. They sent him home and told him this the last time. He is such a wreck and his anxiety is terrible. He feels terrible about himself. Beau is trying to get him to move back in with him and Autumn. Autumn is such a sweet girl. She was just ready to step in and help Drew. I love her.

Drew is at home and in bed trying to get it together. He is texting me. Apologizing. He is so disappointed in himself. That hurts me. I just want him to be OK.


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