Trying to find my happy

For my birthday I went to a sports bar. It was a surprise party from my team. Emily didn’t show up and Charlotte was so pissed.

Ryan and Joey came also. Ryan bought me dinner. I love that kid. Matty, my gay BFF was there too and we all got drunk. Matty is so funny. He got trashed and made out with a girl.

I got home at 3:30AM. I had sobered up by then.

I had fun. I felt genuinely happy. I haven’t felt like this in so long. I can’t remember when the last time was. Just me and my friends having fun, drinking, laughing and not stressing out worrying about a damn thing!!

I got a Happy birthday text from Robbie. I don’t know why am having such a hard time getting over him. I just felt so comfortable with him. I was so OK with everything about him. I feel like it’s supposed to be so this is wrong and there’s nothing I can do but sit here and try and forget but I can’t. I just try and stay busy.

Ryan and I are buying Taylor Swift tickets and we are also buying Dodgers tickets for April 1st. Thank God for baseball season!!

Charlotte and I are going to see Justin Moore and Dylan Scott this month. Busy busy busy!

I want to go see Puddle of Mudd at the Whiskey.

I don’t wanna be sad anymore. It’s been two months since everything went bad and it’s not getting better.


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