Out of the fog

Early day today. I need the overtime but I hate getting up early.

I’m feeling normal. I started feeling it right after my birthday. It feels like I just walked out of a fog. I don’t know how else to describe it.

I was talking to a girl at work. She is the sweetest girl. I told her that I felt normal again. I asked her if I seemed different lately. She said, very cautiously, that I seemed a lot more calm than I’ve been for the last year. Charlotte was standing there and she said Alabama, you drove everyone bat shit crazy last year. She said I dragged her and Emily all over the state doing anything and everything to just keep busy. She is such a good friend. I know I drove her crazy but she just went along with it all.

Wednesday I went and got a chemical peel. I need five more. I also bought $250 worth of products from the dermatologist. My face feels so good!! It’s also such a nice and sunny day today. Really warm for February.

On the way home Robbie texted me and invited me to the Journey / Def Leppard concert up there in October. It’s 8 months away so I’m not holding my breath. When I got his text it made me happy but I realized that I’m not devastated any more. I mean, the feelings were real for sure. I love that man, I really do. But life goes on. I can’t make him love me. I still have hope it will work out some day. I think every thing happens for a reason and if we are supposed to be together we will be. I’ve lost most of my crazy I think…

When I got home he called me and invited me to Arizona next month. I’m being very cautious. His friend is coming out from back east and they are going together. I’ve learned that Robbie makes plans spur of the moment, sometimes without thinking them through. He said he was going to talk to his friend and call me back.

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