August 10, 2018

So angry! We had our playoff game and we were up 11-2 and then lost because of that shitty umpire! Even the other team knew it. So aggravated.

I love that Wyatt and Rae and the kids come watch me play and cheer for me. This season has been amazing.

The other team was awesome though. I love these women! I hope they win tomorrow. We are all going to watch them and root for them tomorrow.

After the game the kids and I went to Dennys. On the way there I got a call from a restricted number. I answered and some girl with a thick accent asked to speak with Beeman. I told her she had the wrong number. She called right back and then hung up. Odd.

We were eating and Wyatt asked Rae if she had told me about Robbie. My heart sunk and I didn’t want to hear what Rae had to say. She told me that she looked on his Facebook page and that he was moving to Texas. All I could think is that he was moving for a girl. He lives two hours from his parents and he has always told me he couldn’t ever go far from them. I was so upset and told her there was no way he would move that far. In the back of my mind I thought he had found some one and fell in love. I was sitting there, eating my blueberry pancakes, trying to act like I wasn’t in a panic.

I don’t ever look on his Facebook page. I’m afraid of what I could see. Rae looked up his page and couldn’t find anything about him moving and then she told me that she had been on the wrong page. I went on there and looked myself and made sure. He doesn’t really post anything so that was a relief.

I’m not a weak, needy woman. It’s just that when I decide that I want something or that something is good in my life and has huge potential, I don’t give up. It becomes a mission. It’s not that it’s a challenge, not at all. Nothing like that. But I love him. Like LOVE. Like capital letter LOVE. That’s huge. I’m also practical. We are friends. We have a lot in common. I KNOW it would work. I can be emotional with him, with no one but him. I would also support him in whatever he wanted to do. We are a perfect fit. I just need to wait it out until he realizes this also. I just worry about him not realizing this. I just want to tell him to give it up, just follow along and I promise, you will be happy.

I saw on his page though, that there’s a link for his band page so later that night I got curious and went on and watched an interview that he did. It made me miss him more than normal.

On the way home from Dennys, Wyatt asked me why I was quiet. I told him it was because we lost our game. He said that I wasn’t quite in the restaurant. He then asked me if Robbie still texted me and I told him that he texted me about once a week just to check in with me. Wyatt told me that he thought Robbie was a really good guy. He said that I was so crazy last year that any normal person would’ve blocked me. That made me want to cry because I really feel like I’ve pushed him away. Ugh.

We got back in the car and that unrestricted number called again. When I get a call it comes through my speakers. I answered it and she asked for Beema again. I told her that she had the wrong number again. She said “No I don’t, you’ve been texting my boyfriend”. I laughed and I said “no, you definitely have the wrong person” and she said “no, your number is right here in his phone” and then she asked me if I had a POF account. I had no idea what she was talking about. Wyatt looked at me and he said Plenty of Fish and my mouth dropped open.

I gave two guys my phone number from that site because I was really making an effort. I told both of them I didn’t want a boyfriend, just a friendship. One of them asked me to come over to his house the next day and I told him no. I never heard from him again. The other one texted me about his son. There was nothing flirtatious about it, whatsoever. That died off after about two days. About a week went by and he texted me and then he called me sweetie. I don’t like that. He doesn’t know me. I never responded back. A couple weeks after that I woke up and there was a missed call from him in the middle of the night. Ya, no thanks.

It must’ve been that guy. Apparently that’s her boyfriend. I was trying to explain to her that there was never anything going on but Wyatt just said “look, your boyfriends cheating on you” and then hung up on her. I felt really bad for the girl but that’s true. He’s obviously online looking for girls.

Men are jerks, I swear.

I was really missing Robbie when I got home so I texted him and told him that I saw his interview. He texted back and asked for my address and asked me to wear his bands t-shirt and post it on their Facebook page. I said I would.

I feel so bad for that girl…

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