May 9, 2017

Hey Luke. It’s been a few days. I’m trying to not have to write you every night. I try to just talk to you during the day but sometime I just need to write.

I was weepy last Friday and then Austin texted me a picture of some Jeep Hannah bought him for their anniversary. It pissed me off and made me sad. I thought it was because I don’t give a shit about stuff and I hate when people brag. Then I realized it upset me that they get to have anniversaries and I don’t.

Not fair. Then I go home and Rae and I went to her brothers to look at his table since he’s moving. We got there he said “how’s your husband?”

I said “what???” And he said “I said, how’s your husband.”

I said “he’s dead” and then I started sobbing which I hate because it’s embarrassing.

Then it snowed and I’m ready for summer so that was depressing. I don’t know, I just had a bad weekend.

I was planning on going to Sarah’s funeral today but I couldn’t. I should have but I don’t think I could have gotten thru the rest of the day.

Then Drew tells me he just stopped by Gilbert’s to visit and I lost it. Why the hell does he have to go to the one persons house that I can’t stand and then defends it when I get upset?

I bought his plane ticket today to Montana. Thank god. He’s drinking too much and not doing anything with himself. And this weekend is Mother’s Day and I’m sure I’ll be depressed. Ugh. I love you Luke.

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