August 1, 1987

I’m 16 and I have my first job at a pizza place. I love it. I work with my friends. I’m making money and it’s summertime. Luke and I are still friends but I don’t see him often. He has a full time, six day a week construction job. I’ve been dating boys and I’m having fun. There is one guy that I’ve been seeing at work. Jason. He is so sweet and cute. Blonde hair and blue eyes. Today he told me he loved me.

It’s Saturday night. I get off at ten and Jason is closing. As I’m about to leave with my friend Victoria, Luke walks in. I smile and walk over to him. I still love him but I’m having fun and Luke doesn’t feel the same towards me.

Luke asks what I’m doing and I tell him we are going to my house to sit in the jacuzzi and drink. He tells me he wants to come over and I say ok. It will be nice to hang out with Luke.

Luke wants to ride with me and my girlfriend in her little pick up truck. I go to get in the middle but he gets in and pulls me onto his lap. Ugh, here comes these feelings again. I keep telling myself that we are just friends. Even when he puts his arms around my waist. He’s done this before and it never goes any where. He makes me fall for him again, I stop dating, nothing happens with Luke. He just wants me to sit at home alone and wait for him.

We get to my house and I go into the garage to get my bikini out of the dryer. Luke walks out behind me. I turn around and he’s right there. Looking me right in the eyes. My heart flutters. He puts his hands on my waist and says “Can I kiss you?” I swallow and shake my head yes. I’m in love.

Two days later we consummate our relationship on the floor of my living room. I was a virgen. Luke didn’t tell me for years that he was also a virgen. I would find out years later that my husband was the keeper of all kinds of secrets.

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